Photoshoot December 9, 2009

Day off ko ngayon from work. At dahil maganda ang araw sa labas, naisipan ko maglakad lakad at magtake ng mga pictures dito lang malapit sa house namin para naman may masabi ako nagawa ko sa off ko aside from doing facebook and friendster. So after ko maglinis ng bahay, magchat sa mga kaptid ko, at magfacebook at friendster.. binalot ko na ang sarili ko ng four layers para hindi ako malamigan.

first shot, wala lang.. ang ganda lang ng sky..

second shot..ang ganda ng araw ngayon.. kso sobra lamig pa dn..

ang ganda ng bahay.. kelan kaya kami magkakaron ng ganyan?

bonsai.. isa kapitbahay na may japanese style ang setting ng garden..

i love this shot.. ang ganda ng sky tlga..

isa park malapit dito sa amin.. bago ko magpunta jan.. may mama nagtanong kung pwede ko daw sya matulungan.. nagpause nmn ako ng mga more than 5 seconds.. pero hnd nmn sya nagsalita.. kya sabi ko.. “iam sorry iam in a hurry right now”.. natakot kc ako.. pero pagtalikod ko, nakita ko sya lumapit sa isa staff ng skytrain station at may tinanong.. naguilty tuloy ako..

puno… maganda dn pla ang itsura ng mga lagas na puno..

at isa p puno..:)

at isa pa..

hindi ko alam ang silbi nito malapit s sky train 29th station..

unique ang style ng bahay..

isa pa maganda bahay.. kelan kya kami magkakaron ng ganyan??

.. at yan na ang huli ko shot.. pumunta na ko nyan sa isa bakery dito malapit sa bahay at bumili ng favorite ko tart.. hayy.. pag may nakapaligid sayo masasarap na mabibilhan ng pagkain.. ang hirap tlga magdiet…

its been two months December 9, 2009

since my last post.. there were so many things that have happened for the past months that some of those i really wish it didn’t happen at all..

first, after the death of my previous landlady.. we received a bad news from my aunt who just recovered from a breast cancer.. doctor said that she needs to undergo a chemotherapy again since they have found out that the cancer spread out into her lungs.. and before she do the chemo.. she had a heart attack that leads to her death.. it was so fast.. everybody was surprised.. all our family from abroad went home to see her for the last time.. i’am thankful that my boss allowed me to take a two-weeks vacation.. i was a bit excited to see my family and friends after 10 mos of being away from home but my heart couldn’t stop from crying for i couldn’t see my aunt alive and laughing anymore.. i can’t even help myself from crying while i was on the plane.. it was just so hurtful because my aunt really still wants to live.. and the hardest part is you can’t do anything about it.. all i said to her when i was talking to her on the phone when she was still alive was God will save her, just keep her faith and i will always pray for her..  until now, i am still hurt.. there were nights that i cried because i miss her.. i just wish that wherever she is right now, i hope she’s happy and at peace..

second, i received a letter from the school here where i want to take a short program from. i have passed all their examinations and they have given me a seat for january 2010 class. at first, i found it hard to tell to my boss that the program is full time and i couldn’t work for them anymore.. but finally.. last week, i was able to tell them and i am glad that they are so understanding. my lady boss even told to his husband that the reason i am leaving is because iam fed up with him.. and he told me, if he’s the only reason why i am leaving he’s willing to not to go to work anymore.. LOL.. they are so nice to me.. i have learned a lot from them.. i still only have one problem.. i haven’t told them that i could only work until the 22nd of this month since we are going to new jersey to celebrate christmas with jim’s family.

third, i celebrated my first year here in canada. time flies so fast.. it seems that i just arrived here yesterday.. i can say that my first year of stay here in vancouver really made me a better person.. seriously.. the place and environment here made me realized a lot of things about life.. i am not saying i am perfect person now.. because it’s really hard to become a very perfect nice person when there are those “pasaway” people around you.. but as much as possible i don’t want to put hatred in my heart.. because life is so short.. after the death of people i know for the past months, it made me feel that i could past away tomorrow or the next day.. weird as it may be.. but after the death of my aunt, for a month i felt that death was so near to me..

Christmas! two more weeks and the most awaiting celebration is coming. i really pray that everyone in this world even those people who might be in life’s struggles right now will feel happiness and peace in their heart even only for christmas day.

it’s kinda bothering October 3, 2009

It feels strange and awkward when a stranger approaches you and act as if you’ve known each other for a long time. Since my feet landed here in Canada last year, I’ve encountered three gentlemen who approached me in three different ways. First was when I was taking my 30 mins break from work, I was seating at one of the benches inside the mall where I am working while talking to Jim on the phone. I noticed there was a guy who also with his phone kept on walking by in front of me. When I finished talking to Jim, he smiled at me and said “hi”. I answered him back with my simple “hello”. (People here in Canada are, well not everyone, but they always ask “how are you” as the start of every conversation.) He said he is living nearby and always go to that mall to kill time. I felt surprised when he said he knows that I am working at the UPS Store. But that conversation didn’t last for long time (thank God). Since then, I think for two weeks I always see him and had a quick conversation with him. The second one, was happened one time when I was riding on the bus. A gentleman from the back stood up from his seat and smiled at me and said “hi”. I just simply smiled him back and didn’t say anything. When he was about to get off, he asked me if I can go out for a coffee with him. I said “NO, sorry!”. He said “Ok, maybe next time”. Then he went out. My third encounter is kinda bothering me since he reminds me of my previous maniac old boss when I was still working as an executive secretary in the Philippines. I met him while I was having my 30 mins lunch again at the same bench where I met the first weird guy. I was checking something from my iphone, when all of a sudden somebody sat beside me and said.. “is that an i-phone or blackberry”. He said he is also interested in buying one but still undecided between blackberry and i-phone. And that how our conversation begins. He sometimes drops by at the ups store to inquire something or just knocked and wave outside the window. Yesterday, it was half an hour before I close the store, my co-worker left already so I was alone, he stepped in and made this never ending stories about his thoughts. He showed me his newly bought digital camera and took some pictures of me. (stupid me, for allowing him to do that). He invited me to have some lunch with him some other day. He said he’s a good cook and he’s living nearby. I said to him that I can’t because I have a limited lunch hour break and I don’t have a regular lunch schedule.  He said, it’s ok, that he understands because it’s really hard to trust someone that you just met. I said, it’s not only that but my lunch hour schedule is making it impossible too ( i was just trying not to be rude). He gave me his business card and asked me to have a coffee at the nearest coffee shop after my work instead. I told to myself, ok, just say yes this time so he won’t bother you next time. He said, he will be waiting outside. Funny, I tried to close the store 15 minutes later after six hoping that he will not be outside waiting for me anymore. But, he was still there. So we went to the nearest coffee shop. I ordered regular coffee (I had 2 cups of coffee that day, which made me difficult to go to sleep last night). He told me stories about his life, what kind of work he’s in to (he’s a writer, and an editor to a japanese magazine-he doesn’t speak japanese though). He said, Iam beautiful and he really likes my eyes (oh right, how can you like big rounded eyes eh??). He seems to be really a nice person but I can’t really help myself from feeling a little bit nervous since as I’ve said he reminds me of my previous old maniac boss when I was still working as an executive secretary five years ago. He told me to call him when I have time for lunch someday. He even offered to drop me off to our house since it was really getting dark. I refused and said to him that it’s not really that hard for me to get into our place. Again, he said he understands because he knows how a husband feels with something like that (if only he knows that Jim is not that type of husband, I am sure he’ll insist to what he wants). So, i just said.. “yeah”..

I don’t want to judge people based only from my instinct but sometimes I just can’t help myself from feeling scare. And my worry is, I am not good of diverging a conversation into something that is more favorable for me. And.. and.. I don’t want to be rude as much as possible, so sometimes, I don’t really know how to be honest to someone. It’s like.. give me a few minutes so I can think how I can say words that won’t feel you bad.

As Iam writing this, I am hoping that he will not going to drop by again. He said that he’ll going to drop by and bring something for me. He knows that I am alone at work now.

Security October 2, 2009

When I first rode the so-called “sky train” here in Canada, I first noticed the yellow strip on the window that says “Silent Alarm”. Of course, that’s for security purposes. I was thinking what will happen if I press that strip, just to assure myself that it’s really working, but of course, I won’t do that because it’s punishable by law if used without valid reason. Finally, last night I was able to convinced myself that it’s really working. Thanks to the little boy who stepped in first to the sky train leaving his parents behind the almost closed sky train door. Good thing there was a concerned gentleman who helped the boy trying to hold the door from closing with just an inch of space between the two doors. Someone press the yellow strip, and suddenly the next door opened and the little boy finally got off from the sky train. Then, when we hit the next station, the security stepped in and asked if everyone is ok, because someone pressed the security strip. Someone explained to him what happened, and I heard the security reporting through his radio “Everything is ok, the child finally re-united to his parents.. blah blah blah..” I can’t help myself from smiling when I heard the word “re-united”.  It seems like a hostage drama. But I have to say, I am impressed with their security. I suddenly remembered the incident that happened to our province at Batangas last month. One of the houses near our area got burned while there was a funeral going on. They called the fire department and guess what, they arrived the day after the fire has happened. And you couldn’t believe the reason that they said for coming so late. They just simply run out of gasoline. My God, it’s a matter of life and death already and it seems they don’t care. Thanks to them, the victims saved nothing from the fire aside from the dead body.  If only our gov’t officials will just share to the Filipinos some amount from the millions (or should I say billions) that they are getting from every taxpayer’s pocket then it will surely help. Let us just accept the fact that almost all of our government officials are corrupt, but if half of these corrupt people will just learn how to share, I think some changes will happen. After all, it’s “our” money that they should suppose to share.

My dearest Tita Lollie August 11, 2009

It was mid of July in 2003, when I need to look for a new room to rent while working in a start-up company in Makati. My officemate then named Tina informed me that there was a vacant room in the place where she was staying. So the next day after meeting up with her landlady named Lollie, I moved all my things to their place. It was not so far from my previous place then so it was easy for me to move all my things. I was surprised when Tita Lollie offered her hand to help moving my things to their place. She even said, “ang ganda naman pla ng place mo dati, gawa sa bato, eto lilipatan mo kahoy lang”. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, ang bait naman ng landlady na to tinulungan ako. I was really touched. For more than five years that I stayed there I can say that if God will ask me who I want to be my new mother aside from my mom, I can easily say I want my Tita Lollie. She was like a second mother to me. I can feel her care and concern especially when I am sick or when I came home late at night. Last year, November 2008, she cried when I need to leave to join Jim here in Canada. I was so sad because it has been my second home. For five years, I stayed there more often than our home in Batangas. I told her, I will keep in touch, and she always say “I-send mo sa akin ang picture ng magiging apo ko sayo ha”. She had also made Jim promised to her to take good care of me. Last March 2009, I received a ym message from my previous roommate telling me that Tita Lollie was diagnosed for a Lung Cancer. I was so shocked. Kaya pla hindi na mawala wala ang ubo nya. I called her. She was crying. She was saying ” Ayoko pa mamatay, gusto ko pa mabuhay”. I told her ” Mabubuhay pa kayo ng matagal tita, magdasal lang tayo, pagdadasal kita, tska magkikita pa tayo next year, uuwi ako ng december, tsaka ung apo mo sa akin d b hihintayin mo pa”. It was the last time I spoke with her. Last week, she passed away and I was informed by my sister that she was only given all the necessary medicines for a month because her family can’t afford it anymore.

It will be her birthday on the 13th of August. I made a calendar alarm to give her a call but so sad I can’t do it anymore. She’s a very religious woman yet very afraid of staying home alone at night. Funny, I remember her always waiting outside the house at night when nobody else was home. I remember her scream whenever she saw a snake on tv or worm at our bathroom. Last monday I talked to her while looking at the sky. I know that she’s in heaven now with our Lord Almighty because she is truly a very nice person. I thanked her for everything, especially for treating me like her own daughter. I asked for her forgiveness if there were times that I hurt her feelings.

Tita Lollie, advance happy birthday. Alam ko nasa heaven ka na.  Nakakainis ka hindi mo pa hinintay ang paguwi ko. Dadalhan pa nmn kita ng madami pasalubong. Dadagdagan ko sana ang collection mo ng Victoria’s secret lotion para may pangregalo ka s mga boarders mo tuwing birthday nila.. hehe.. Salamat sa lahat ng mga regalo binigay mo sakin. Higit sa lahat salamat sa pagmamahal. Salamat sa lahat lahat. Namimiss na kita Tita.. Namimiss ko na ang dati ko boarding house. Ang tangi naging boarding house ko na naramdaman ko ang totoo pagtanggap at pagmamahal. Salamt sa limang taon pag-aalaga mo sa akin at kay neng. Hindi hindi kita makakalimutan. Wag ka magaalala, ipapakilala pa din kita sa magiging apo mo sakin, hindi man sa personal, kahit sa larawan man lang. Paalam tita.